Rehearsal Dinner
by marsswan
Summary: Alice prepared a Rehearsal Dinner between the Cullens, one ordinary Rehearsal there was this one best friend called Jacob, he asks Bella to runaway. Will she do it because of the longing of Jacob's friendship? or will she stay with her love Edward?
1. Chapter 1 Rehearsal Dinner

**_1. Rehearsal Dinner-Not A Chance!_**

"I won't leave this room with this… with this suffocating, extravagant dress Alice. What were you thinking?"

I looked naked, I felt naked. The dress Alice forced me to put on was ridiculously uncovered, it left my shoulders bare naked, and it wasn't short, I should call it minuscule, it wasn't even knee length, it was shorter.

"I was thinking about how well you would look with this dress silly, you have to admit it's gorgeous." Alice didn't stare at me at all, she was searching for something in her enormous room, she entered to the spa sized bathroom while I kept staring daggers at wherever place that tiny figure was.

"What else is there Alice, don't tell me did you bought me some meaningless high heels don't you? You're so predictable Alice, if you think I will wear any stinking dangerous high heels you're gravely mistaken you hear me Alice?! Gravely mistaken, I won't be any Guinea pig Barbie again!" I wasn't controlling myself anymore, I was in panic, knowing Alice she bought what I had said and probably she was searching that in her room. I was terrified of the size of the heels, about the price, about my disability to walk even with socks.

She stopped her head immediately; she turned it dramatically slow and stared at me with wide incredibly tender eyes.

"Are you mad at me Bella?" Her eyes were more pleading now, wider and prettier.

This image was heartbreaking how could I be mad at Alice?

"Of course not Alice. I'm not mad at you" I softened and smiled at her-a sincere smile.

"Well I am very sorry Bella if this happens to be uncomfortable for you, I was just trying to make you feel happy, I thought that you would like to be… well to be more liked by Edward." Didn't Edward like me with a weary shirt and jeans? Hadn't he accepted me with all my non fashionable, worn out clothes anyway?

"Alice… " I began and my sentence got trailed off. I knew from the start she would win anyway, I would look stupid with this mini dress and probably break my ankles with the future heels.

"I know, I know Bella, but I promise you'll like it, I bought something else for you that aren't stilettos, that is what I'm looking for, and your shoes were picked since last week and are more than ready so you missed on that one." Without shame she smiled at me, as if it was all settled, as if I wasn't going to put any resistance, as if I had all ready gave in which seconds away I did.

"Just promise me something Alice." Is the least you can do for me after treating me like a stinking Barbie.

"I know Bella, don't worry you won't look ridiculous I promise, you'll look beautiful and I know Edward will like it." She began searching in the drawers and she stopped her face static, an awkward smile was placed on her face.

Her right hand held one black velvet box tiny and expensively looking, I began to shake.

She raised that box with admiration visible in her golden eyes, then turned her face and looked me with a suspicious smile.

"Bella this is a gift I wanted to give you since graduation, but you turn the things difficult and I hadn't had time to give it to you, please don't get difficult again."

I saw that tiny little black box as if it was about to bite me I watched it with horror.

She gave three gracefully dancing steps and reached to me holding the velvet box in front of my face.

"Open it Bella." A big white pretty smile was on her pixie face, the gold of her eyes flickered with intensity.

"What if I don't want to?" The response got through my mouth reflexively as a whisper, I felt I couldn't breathe.

It was silly for me to think so ill about this tiny box?

No, of course it wasn't, I do not like presents at all, I'm such apathy to any present that had requested any money, if someone wanted to make me happy with an unnecessary gift I would prefer something handmade like a sincere letter or the CD Edward made for me a 13 of September when… when… when he left.

"Then I will be terribly upset Bella, you are really hurting my feelings you know." Her pixie face got an upsetting shade as some little kid making a pucker, a really distressing pucker. I suddenly wanted to hug her.

I put my arms around the fairy's tiny body and leaned my head against hers.

"I am sorry Alice, please give it to me." Very stylishly she loosed from my hug and landed in a graceful fourth ballet position with the box in her pale white hand.

"Open it now!" That was an order that now, I was compelled to obey.

I took the box from her hand, not without rushing with the iciness. My hand was trembling when I began to open it. With how much money will I be burdening…

"Stop fidgeting Bella open it now!"

"Fine, fine." I grumbled and opened the box with two shaky fingers.

"Alice it's beautiful!" My sight stopped at one necklace, it had a heart-shaped charm, filled up with miniature crystals. The charm wasn't big or extravagant; it was a very small size- that made me breathe again.

"I know you would like it, it's just like you Bella, discrete and lovely." She was staring me again; suddenly her words made me want to cry.

"Oh! Alice, Thank You!" I began to have a lightly mop, my eye let a teardrop fall through my already warm cheek.

I hugged her for the second time, now she returned my hug but with precaution not letting my bare neck in her mouth, keeping me some centimeters away from her razor blades.

"Don't worry Bella and please stop crying, you'll ruin the mascara." She moved away from me and began to clean the black tears.

I handed her the necklace and she adapt it to my neck.

"It's time to come down Bella, everyone is waiting."

Everyone? That word made my tears dispel immediately as if I had run out of them. I felt my cheeks grow pink, why if I fall, I hadn't seen the size of the heel, I'll surely fall, look at this dress it's very… tiny, it was made for people like Alice with a great body and silhouette and grace for walking.

She sprung through the room all the way through the door; she stopped and pointed out black suede shoes, with the most dangerous heels I've ever seen.

"Come on Bella!" Think of Edward, think of Edward, Edward's waiting; I kept constantly reminding me that, Edward was worth it all and this wasn't a pain after all.

I began walking shyly through the rug of the floor; I hadn't noticed that the dress was very waisted, tight from the legs it sort of hampered me to walk normally.

I slipped one foot softly in one shoe and tried it on, fitting the suede. I slipped the other one and I was taller, painfully taller.

The arch of my feet would be shattered after this night.

When I gave one step I stumbled with serious probabilities of falling down the stairs but Alice caught me on time.

"Careful Bella." She warned. Try to walk with heels that look like the Empire State and a dress that makes you feel like canned tuna.

One, two, three stairs, safe!

I finally beat the stairs and landed on a plain surface, the Cullen's living room.

Nothing was there, I didn't noticed any change it was the same big white classic room with Edward's black piano, and pretty furniture, very peaceful.

"Alice?" I asked.

"Come Bella." She grabbed my hand and began to pull from it; she was leading me to the enormous backyard of the house.

My left hand was taken by another icy hand but this time bigger, Alice let go from me. The larger icy hand spun me into his arms and landed me on his chest.

"I've missed you." I said, lifting my head to see him.

I met those golden brown eyes and sigh at the very sight of them.

"I've missed you too." His velvet voice emerged like a precious sound that delighted my ear. He kissed my forehead and pressed my body against him.

"Are you ready love?" He kept talking through my hair, impregnating the characterized sweet scent of his breath.

"No I'm not." I answered in a whisper.

"Are your feet cold?" He pulled me away with the softest movement, still holding me by the hand. He looked at me in the eyes; the topaz was solidifying with concern.

"No, of course not, they're bursting but a wedding…" It was clear that I had some opposition against marrying at 18 even if I had already told Charlie and endured the ultimate doom on telling Rene, Rene was the one that amazed me the most she took it with the most normality possible, she did not gave me a lecture about infatuated or stupid teenagers and their mistakes, she even gave herself away on insinuating that the last time Edward and I visited her we were already engaged.

I was sure about Edward, but marrying at 18 isn't exactly a bright idea nor normal, but what of my life is?

I'm still opposed to the idea of someone calling me a Mrs., for Christ's sake I'm only 18! But I need to do it; I want to have Edward forever.

"Bella I know you have some prejudices against marriage but it's not as awful as they paint it, marriage is something that defines the life's of the couples and also make other people realize clearly who you are in love with and I want the whole town or better said the whole world know, that I'm in love with you Bella, that I'm yours and will always be." He's eyes turned tender and soft, his icy hand took my chin an pulled it to his, our lips collide, his scent spread through all my body.

"I'm in love with you too Edward Cullen." I gasped. He took my waist and pulled me closer to him again, he stare at my lips for long time.

"And you want the world to know it as I do?" He smiled at me a real bright, enchanting, sweet smile.

I laughed at this.

"I do, I want to let the whole world know that I'm yours heart and soul, I want everyone to know that I love you Edward, especially Mike."

He made a face as reflecting my answer then suddenly all doubt dissipated and a burst of happiness came instead, emotion could be revealed in his golden eyes.

"Oh! I've been waiting decades to hear you say this Miss Swan; I'm the happiest man… Oops! my bad, let me correct myself, I'm the happiest vampire in the world."

"Will you kiss me?" I said impatiently and stared him deeply in his amber eyes.

"Is that what you want Miss Swan?" he answered politely, his lips were hardly pressed, twitching as he tried to suppress a smile.

"I do."

Then my lips rushed in his, trying to absorb the most I could from the sweet fragrance of his mouth. Edward was inside of me, his scent, his smile, his eyes and soon his venom would be too, I just have to endure one or two more play-offs of ridiculous dresses and uncomfortable shoes and really unnecessary dinners for the real circus to start and it would be all, I would have Edward, eternally.

"Lovers, it would be better for all of us if you could just stick up to the original plan, no smooches are allowed here, we're having a dinner here huh!" Emmet stared at us with a sardonically stare, I couldn't help but blush.

Edward cleared his throat, squeezed my hand and gave me a supporting smile for what would happen next.

I did not know how many people Alice invited; it hadn't had to be everyone, maybe tomorrow all people will come, tomorrow is the official dinner so I guess…

I could still argue with Alice about not wearing this dress tomorrow and change the tower heels to a regular, normal size would be just about right.

I wasn't feeling nervous now, I knew that the people who would be there waiting in the garden would be the ones I know, my future family-in-law and the love of my existence so why should I fear?

I gave two secure steps and crossed the door that separated the house from the garden. I almost choke at the sight of it.

There was a gazebo adorned with white lights creating an artificial starry night, it was embellished with white flowers hanging over the top.

For some reason I did not need any sweater, somehow Forks granted me a night without cold and drizzle.

I looked away from the gazebo and found people staring at me, ordinary town folks not beautiful vampires.

I could see faces, Mike Newton's was the first I saw, he literally didn't kept from staring at me, he didn't even bothered on conceal it, his mouth was open.

I saw Angela giving me a warm smile that I gave back, then I saw Jess, also smiling and giving me thumbs up making emphasis on the shortness of my dress -I blushed.

Mr. and Mrs. Weber were also there so Mrs. Stanley and Mrs. Newton and all the Mrs. From town, I was up now to convert to one of them.

I shook off that though from my head and fell straight to reality, people was staring at me I was in the spotlight. I got sick; I really wanted to throw up.

I kept looking face through face sit in rounded tables trying to find a familiar face… to me.

I was looking for Edward or Charlie or Alice or anyone!

I walked with my head down trying to find a safe spot where I could sit.

When I moved my leg to give my first step, everyone began to applaud.

I felt disoriented.


	2. Chapter 2 Running Away

_**2. Running Away... with Jacob?** _

The grass didn't help, the heels didn't help-but I'd rather walk and get stuck in grass than breaking my legs with the stone path-I would remind Alice about this. I felt as if I were about to fall at any second. I gave hand shakes and hugs to all the words I received, they were congratulating me about my future wedding that would happen in two days or maybe tomorrow, now I wasn't sure.

I thought this was still a rehearsal.

I stumbled twice watching at both my sides, turning my face at every direction… there was nothing.

These heels made my feet hurt like nothing; I wasn't used to walking with high heels.

I was about to fall once, when I had already flee from hugs, suddenly my heels got stuck in the grass, I though my face would go straight to the bottom, but instead of cold, hard, wet lawn I found a very huge, warm and tender chest.

I knew who it was; no one could be so big and warm but… but my best friend, my Jacob.

"Whoops! Watch it Bells!" He held me closely to his chest, I felt as if he and I were alone, as if we were again in his garage in the rainy, cold afternoons.

I had no time to talk; he lifted my feet up from the floor like a weightless doll

and took me away. He landed me in one of the borders of the forest-when I talked about the immense Cullen backyard I was talking serious, maybe I did not mentioned that the garden was technically the forest.

I could still see the lights from the gazebo; I could see all my friends sat in rounded tables, no one aware of me and Jacob… here.

"Jake! What… how did… Oh! I'm so glad you're here!" I put my arms around what they could surround from Jacob's body; he was so big I was sure I wouldn't reach his shoulders.

"I'm glad too sweetheart." It was my Jacob again; his real voice not the one that the mask provoked. He didn't despise me or maybe he did…

I looked up to see his face, and found with much more than happiness that it was him, the Jacob I was longing to see again, a teenage juvenile wolf ruled by hormones, so big and warm and happy, my eternal sunshine and safe harbor.

"Are you mad at me Jake? If you are, you are right, I'm a real rotten, horrible person, I'm so sorry I didn't wanted to ruin everything, it was my fault Jake I'm sorry, please forgive me, please!" My words didn't have sense; I was saying what went through my head in the mere instant. The words flew out escorted with few tears."

His large, warm hand wiped them away with the softest rough touch his hand could allow.

"Why are you crying? I'm here. Isn't what you wanted Bella? We are friends, the best of friends Bells." My breath was uneven; my eyes kept being flooded by tears.

"Why is that you're still crying Bella? "

"You're here." I said in gasps.

"I am." His eyes were confused, looking me as if I was becoming crazy, but that didn't stop him from giving me a white, warm smile.

"You're here to stay?" I reflected.

"As long as I can Bells, leeches aren't what I would call party people you know?"

I laughed at this, not without getting mad first.

"Edward knows you're here?" I asked, fearing of what could happen.

"Er, not exactly Bells, I was invited to the wedding, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go and well… anyway I heard this kid Newton talking about your engaging party and decided I would give you a visit." Jacob wasn't nervous at all, he seemed relaxed and confident, it seemed that there were no vampires with developed, sharp senses that could track him down or kill him.

"Then, I appreciate your very short visit; it's time for the wolf to go." I said to him almost pushing him into the woods.

It was as if I were pushing a rock, he wasn't moving.

"I've missed you Jacob, a lot, but now it's time to go!" I just heard him chuckling.

"Bella I'm here to stay or… if you want me to go then..." His voice was trailed off, he turned his back at me and began walking away.

"No Jake I want you to stay but it's dangerous, you and Edward aren't what I would call best friends and the last time you saw well it wasn't very… friendly so it's better for you and your butt's sake if you leave."

When I gave him my lecture of the why I wanted him to leave he chuckled again but this time he cut it off and looked at me with sadden eyes.

"I guess you're right Bella, I'll better leave… alone." He marked the last word with the most dramatic accent I've heard from his voice.

He began to walk again, further from me.

"Ugh! Jacob don't do this." I knew what his intentions were; I wasn't going to leave this party, my engagement party, I was going to enjoy the party and be with Edward.

But what if Jacob doesn't come to my wedding, he said so. What if this was the last time I would be able to see him as my best friend again, as my Jacob. Maybe this would be the last moment human-freak I would get with him, before I was raged and consumed with bloodlust, I want to enjoy this last moment with my friend and I don't think this will be the best place to do it.

He kept walking, further and further from me.

"Hey Jacob wait!" I ran to him, ridding from the tormenting shoes, my feet touched the wet grass.

In the moment my feet touched the grass I felt as the half Bella that belonged to Jacob, the reckless, irresponsible Bella was alive again, alive more than ever.

"I knew it!" I heard him whisper, then his body turned around and caught me in his arms, making me spin around the air, feeling like a little kid playing in a grown ups arms.

After a long moment of spinning he let me down, I was feeling a little dizzy, but didn't care, this was my last night with Jacob.

"Come Bella, I have to show you something." He took me by the hand and began to pull from it.

I was running when he was giving two very steps.

"Wait there for a second I need to rest!" I said out of breathe.

"You are like and old lady Bella."

"Hey the only middle age here is you remember? And it's not my fault that you give steps size of an elephant." I took a sit in a rock that was nearby.

He laughed.

"It's not my fault either that you give steps size of a mice Bells."

"Funny Jacob." I made my voice sound sarcastically.

"Know Bells we have to hurry, before your leech finds out that you're missing. I guess I'll just have to carry you."

He was walking to me with his arms open.

"Don't you dare Jacob!" This was getting off the limit; I wasn't going to let Jacob carrying me.

"Come Bells, I promise I don't bite." He winked at me. I understood his real cheap, not very funny joke but still laugh, I didn't not know if I laughed from the joke or from the nervous I was about the indiscreet thing he was about to do.

My dress wasn't large enough, it wasn't large at all, he would be touching my skin and I don't want to.

"I'd rather walk thank you." When he was at a dangerous proximity I stood from the rock I was and began walking fast.

Then from walking I began to run.

"You said that we had to hurry Jake so move your butt and catch me." I was running not without effort of course, I would trip at any minute if I wasn't cautious enough, but I was barefoot so that reduced the chances of falling down.

"Do you even know where it is Bella?" I kept running as if I hadn't heard him.

I was feeling guilty know, it may sound ridiculous but I felt as if I was betraying Edward, but I wasn't or I was? Is not as if I had run away with Jacob, which I did.

What would Edward think of me?

Haven't I hurt him enough? But it was Jacob, maybe I wouldn't see him again.


	3. Chapter 3 Imprint

**_3. Imprint_**

I kept running as far away from Jacob as I could. Was I really this ridiculous?

It was Jake my friend; my best friend there is no way he wants to try something with me.

If I wasn't sure that part of me belonged to Jacob, that one real tiny part of my heart was his, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable in this situation.

Sure about that Bella?

Since when I talk with myself

Jake is just a boy, I am just a girl; we're both alone… alone. The last word got me like a kick in the stomach.

I'm positive that everything is under control, I'd made it clear for Jacob that there is no future for what could have been the course of my life, if Edward didn't existed.

"Hey! Bells Easy! It's here." I was running directionless through the woods when I heard Jacobs voice irrupting through my thoughts. I tried to stop but my uncoordinated breaks called legs made me stumble with one stupid, minuscule stick. I got to the dirt, my head buried in grass and wet mud.

"Damn!" I grumbled when I was trying to stand up, spitting mud through my mouth.

I heard Jacob's laugh. No not laugh, a guffaw.

"I'm glad I amuse you Jake." I hadn't heard him laughing in so long, instead of getting mad I was truly amused I made him laugh even if my face was covered in mud and half my mouth was covered with "delicious" dirt cake.

I was trying to remove the mud from my eyes to see Jacob's laughter.

"Here Bells." He handed me a piece of clothe. I started to remove the mud from my face. Jacob continued to laugh.

When my face was considerably clean, I saw with what I had unsoiled myself.

It was Jacob's shirt.

When I looked up, I found his big white smile and tender eyes making that face so agreeable it cheered me up.

I handed him his shirt. "Sorry about that I promise I'll wash it."

"No problem Bells. Are you alright, that seemed to hurt." He had his eternal smile. Does this kid never stop laughing? Better not.

It hurt but seeing Jacob's smile seemed to make everything more bearable.

"No it didn't hurt don't you know that mud baths exfoliate your skin?" I said to him equally smiling.

He looked at me with tender eyes and rolled his eyes.

"Now careful Bells." He took me by the hand and began to walk, gentler this time.

We walked through pines and giant trees, the dusk was already fading letting the sky a pretty dark blue, making artificial shades to the trees.

We kept walking until we got to a near river.

He took me by the waist and sat me like a small child into a rock that was at the border of the river.

The sound of the water running was so peaceful, the view free of tree trunks was mesmerizing, the dark blue continued but in the horizon a straight strip of orange was announcing that dusk was about to end.

Jacob sat aside, leaning his head to the rock.

"It's beautiful Jacob."

"I know, too bad it's not in my side of the border." He said, still watching the horizon slipped away.

"So, catch me up with pack scandals, who imprinted on who this time uh?"

He stared at me with strange eyes and looked away. I knew I screwed up.

"I'm sorry Jake I didn't mean to…"

"No Bells it's not with you, it's with me I guess I'm just frustrated."

He had his eyes frowned it was funny to watch.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Come spit it out Jake." I encouraged him; it was easy for him to tell me his troubles so it was for me.

He laughed with me and then spoke. "Well I don't know what's happening it seems like there's a fever of bidbidi-babidi-boo whacky madness spreading around the reservation, first Paul with my sister and then Quil and Embry too, I sometimes don't know what to do Bells they have this looks, Ugh! You have to see them."

"And what's the problem Jacob?"

He reflected my answer for a second and then he answered:

"I really don't know what the problem is." I could see that he was truly confused, that he was wondering why this was upsetting to him.

"You told me that it was natural don't you? You knew that this was going to happen, sooner or later Jake, your friends were the first to bat that's all." I knew that imprinting was something natural in the werewolf mythology; Jacob had explained it to me. Even though it didn't seemed rational that teenager wolves were imprinting on 2 year old from what Jacob explained it wasn't bad, they were going to be whatever the person they imprinted on wanted.

"It's easy for you to say Bells; you can choose who you want to be in love with but I wonder…" He was staring me deeply in the eyes, as if trying to force something, his eyebrows frowned lot more that they were before.

"I'm not going to blow up Jake stop trying." I tried to make a joke out of this, though I knew why he stared at me that way, to see if I was the one he should imprint on, I wasn't.

He laughed and then looked away.


	4. Chapter 4 Two Futures, Two Soulmates

**_4. Two Futures, Two Soulmates..._**

"Bella have you ever thought of us?" he asked still pensive somewhere in the dark blue of the sky that embellished every sight of the forest, making dark tiptoes of the trees.

"Us..." I sighed. How can I make him realize, though he is right in every possible way.

If Edward didn't exist, I f I hadn't met him, if I hadn't fall hopelessly in love with him Jacob would have been the natural path my life would have taken. I've seen a life pass through my eyes, as if I had lived it already.

I saw two small children; their faces as splendorous and beautiful as Jacob, they did not had my pale fair skin nor Jacob's smooth bronze color, somehow the one girl and boy had found a balance where their skin was so tender and silky and the prettiest clearer olive tone I've ever seen, with rosy cheeks-a trait inherited by me- The girl with the eyes as black as Jacob's and the little boy with my eyes, a chocolate brown. I saw them running; I turned my head and saw a mature Jacob smiling at me, a radiant smile, holding me through the hand as we saw our children being happy in their own little world. I saw Rene holding my little boy, as Charlie was trying his best to make my pretty girl laugh with funny faces. It seemed like a real family portrait so safe and happy for all of us, for René and Charlie and Jacob and unbelievably me.

But I saw the two beautiful children disappear in the woods, while they were running and laughing I lost track of them, their laugh was further. While their laugh was softer, my heart was turning weaker, as if I had my children and lost them. I began to search them on the woods but nothing was there. I followed their sound, weaker every second until everything got quiet. I kept running, searching and what I found was something different and equally valuable. I found Edward, with open arms, a smile in his lips and his liquid golden eyes.

I reached for him and found some comfort, but it was as if part of me was still missing, while I was in his arms the image of those kids was erasing, until I stopped remembering, I just felt emptiness, in a very far corner of my heart I found that I was missing something but I didn't remember what it was.

"Bella! Bells wake up" I opened my eyes and found myself again in the edge of the river, the sky had now a very dark coat with flashing points of light, and a great, large, full white globe boosting light enough to enlighten the branches of the trees.

"I fell asleep, I'm sorry Jake." I yawned and cleared my eyes.

I watched the hand wrist clock delicately placed on my left hand and it was too late.

I rushed to stand up, but stumbled and fell into Jacob's arms.

"I have to go Jacob, it's so late." I tried to release my hands from his grip, he was strong enough to force me to stay.

"Let go Jacob, I have to go!" I said "Edward is waiting for me, let go!" I started to hit him in the chest.

"Stop Bella!"

"He must be looking for me, let me go now!" I had given up, tears were about to run down my cheek, I was looking through the woods trying to find the white house near the river.

"He found you."

When I woke up I was in Jacob's shoulder, he was surrounding my body with his arms, Edward must have seen us.

"When?" It was the only thing I could possibly spill out, I would certainly begin to cry at any moment.

"Not long before, he said that you came home at any time you wanted… if you wanted to come back." The last words slapped me in the face, so hard I was running out of air. I felt how the tiny drops of water were bathing my face.

"Are you crying Bella?" He tried to pull my head up for him to see it, I put resistance.

"No I'm not!" I said forcing my head to stay turned while Jacob used half of his force to turn it up.

"Bella what happens?"

"I just want you to let me go." My voice sounded as if it not had any emotion, I was staring blankly onto the forest.

"You heard what he said don't you, you're free Bells, free from him, from any compromise, from any future that takes away your life and everything you expect from it." This time I couldn't help but turn my head to stare at him.

"What do you know about my life expectations Jacob? I'm not free don't you understand? I was never condemned to any stupid compromise, I want him, I want to marry him, I want to be with him, I love him Jacob is that so hard to understand?" My sentiments were back with loads of tears, I wanted to come home, I should've never left from that party, I should've forgot Jacob, we shouldn't be friends, we shouldn't have seen.

"He can't give you what you want Bella, he's not giving you anything, he's just taking everything from you, your life, your parents, your friends, everything Bella." He was holding me harder through the wrists.

"Can't you see Jacob, he is not the one who wants to take things away from me, I'm practically begging for him to do it, my life is his, and my family is not any of your business. And what do I need Jacob, what do you know of my needs?" I was mad but still laugh at his face; he didn't see that what I wanted was Edward and nothing more; having him what else could I ask for? I knew I was hurting him but still didn't care.

"When you were sleeping Bella, you were mumbling senseless things, first you mentioned his name, and as if you had called it, he appeared from thin air, he was about to crash my skull when you said something, you said my name and smiled widely, after that you… well, you said you loved me, through all your dream you smiled and he was there watching you, for a moment I thought he would take you away and he would return to try and murder me-as if he could- but he stayed, he endured hearing you mumble my name, time after time and smiling. Then you said something about two children you began to say "Don't go, please don't go, mine, my babies." I didn't understand until he stared at me with broken eyes, he gave me a sad, pathetic smile and told me what I needed to tell you and then he left. You were dreaming of our life, of what can be our future Bella."

I was knocked from what I had heard, I hurt him, I hurt Edward, but then I still remembered of the emptiness that I felt, the blurry image of those two children staring at me popped through my mind like knives.

I had hurt him in every possible way, I keep hurting him, if I wasn't so stupid and selfish, I should have remained in the party, I should've forgot Jacob, he and I can't be nothing.

I don't want anything from him, I don't want the life that I saw in my dream, I don't love him, I don't want to love him, I don't want those precious tiny figures that keep staring me through the hazy dark woods.


	5. Chapter 5 Insight

**_5. Insight_**

I just wanted to go back, I wanted to say I'm sorry. Edward may not have me back…

Why do I fell asleep, why did I come here?

"I hate you Jacob." I was staring at him, full of resentment and crystalline tears running down my eyes.

"Why do you hate me? It's not my fault you're in love with me and you still don't want to accept it Bella." He answered me as coldly as I had spoken to him, equally staring at me with resentment and without tears.

"I'm not in love with you, I don't even like you Jacob, and _you just ruin everything for me_!" I screamed the last words into his face.

I was messing everything, first Edward now Jacob?

But the vomit of words couldn't stop, the rage I had was against me not him, but it was easier to get it out with him, everything I was saying to Jacob I was telling it to myself. I didn't like me, I'm a horrible person, so selfish and hurtful and a real worthless person, maybe it was better to remove the love that those two precious persons had for me-Edward and Jacob.

"You know it's not true Bella I ruin nothing, you are the one who keeps incenting me, that dream you had Bella wasn't my fault either, you saw our future, you were wishing for it, something I forgot to tell you. When you mention the two little kids, the "babies" you mentioned your Edward again but this time mopping, then began to say "I don't want you."

While we were arguing, the dream I had, was placing in my head like a real memory, like one that I once lived and remembered, the emptiness was still there making my heart ache in indescribable ways. I remembered from beginning to end, when my two children disappeared and I found Edward instead.

After Edward disappeared, I looked up and found Jacob instead, his face was a smiling face, he was holding me, I was trying to escape from his hold, but he didn't let go.

Edward was staring in the forest, I was saying Jacob to let go but he didn't, then Edward began to walk away, I needed to do something desperate. I told Jacob that I didn't wanted him, then he let go, but Edward had disappeared so as Jacob, I was left alone in the woods, with a broken heart.

My dream was similar to what had happened, very similar.

"Jacob, please let me go." My voice was weak, I was gasping without breathe. Everything began to ache, I was alone in the woods again, and my chest was oppressed by dark emptiness.

He let his hand slide through my arms, he gave a one last touch, stared me deep in the eyes, I saw how one tear slipped through his eye and then he disappeared, he went running, fast to the woods.

I felt as if the river was my tears, flowing without control.

I was seeing Jacob's shade disappear through the woods.

"I'm sorry Jake." I whispered, my words were taken by the wind, spreading through every tree and living thing, hearing what I had to say to my friend, my werewolf who was fading away, maybe they would get him the message, maybe he'll hear that I was sorry.

My eyes kept staring blankly into the forest, just like my dream, Edward had gone so did Jacob.

I didn't deserve any of them. They deserved better than me, a good person that wasn't so rotten and miserable.

Tears were invading my cheeks; my heart pounded weakly on my chest, irregular, dysfunctional beats. I began to sob.

I fell in a limbo state, when I was aware I wasn't awake but wasn't sleeping either. I kept feeling the pain; the tears had been blown by Forks wind.

I felt a blanket spreading over my body, getting me warm, I felt how someone lifted me of the floor and carried me. I was coward enough to let my eyes closed.

But this time I took it brave, or the more I could. I opened my eyes slowly and found Edward's face so fine and so painful to watch, the eternal bruises down his striking golden eyes were profound, as if he had silently cried, though he couldn't, it seemed likely. I didn't dare to look at his eyes, they would be so wound and hurt, I was an atrocious , nasty person. I closed my eyes quickly, tensing them so I could force myself to not open them again. I couldn't talk; there was a very huge loop I couldn't swallow. My throat ached, my heart was agonizing.

"Bella open your eyes love, you're going to hurt yourself." Edwards' mellow voice made knives stab my heart and made my eyes locked up more tense.

I still couldn't talk, the loop was growing bigger and bigger every time. Tears began to flood my eyes again.

"Please don't cry Bella." His voice broke; if I didn't know he couldn't cry I could have sworn he was doing it know.

I was truly a monster.

I remained silent, with my eyes shut so tense.

Maybe if I stayed like this forever I would not do more harm.


	6. Chapter 6 The One I Would Want Forever

_**6. The One I Would Want Forever...**_

"Bella can you stop being so remarkably absurd? Please I need you to open your eyes."

This is a start, he said I was absurd, he may be mad at me, maybe he won't want me,. For the more excruciating effect that thought had on me, I was trying to accept it, I knew he was worthy of more than me, this time my average look and my non notable personality so normal and human had nothing to do with this. This time it was different, I wasn't made for him, the perfection of Edward not just his extremely fine appearance, the good person he was on the inside, the exceedingly kindness that his eyes reflected, the enormous size of his immobile heart, I did not deserve that-not deserved him.

I remained with the eyes closed, considering the possibility of what would I find out when I opened them. A tiny voice in my head screamed two plausible options:

First Option (my kind of option, then one I wish was true):

I'd never left the party; I just fell asleep as the real apathy I'm for parties or maybe I did just stumble and cracked my head wit the wet grass, I did not fell in Jacob's arms nor he took me anywhere far form Edward.

Second Option (the true option, the one that happened):

I did left, left with my friend Jacob, I hurt them both, the only thing I was going to find when I opened my eyes would be Edwards beautiful angel face with the golden eyes full of sorrow and hurt. When I opened my eyes I would know it was true, I hurt the love of my life in unimaginable ways and I wound my friend to unconceivable manners.

"Please Bella open your eyes." The tip of his fingers traced the shape of my lips, for more icy his hand was, I felt how my lips burned.

I tensed them more than ever, I felt how my head went through colorful, painful, vivid memories, to a real darkness, maybe I had a nervous collapse that can cause brain damage, I may get comma…

Is that what I'm really wishing for? I should face this! I will face this… when I wake up.

Again, I felt on the indeterminate state where I couldn't wake but couldn't rest either.

My mind went every through every memory I have had with Edward, from his fine eyes, to his beautiful face, through his bronze hair, through our first kiss, through every possible memory my mind had saved.

I couldn't deceive myself anymore, the dream I had the one I thought it was my dream, was just a part of it. I think I suppressed what I really didn't want to hear or remember again. While I was in this halfway state I remembered how clear it seemed my dream. While the two little figures disappeared through the woods, I found Edward, when I turned my head Jacob's face was the one that was staring, the two little kids where holding hands with him, watching m holding Edward. I looked up again and found Edward's face smiling. I was asking Edward to let me go, I wanted that future so badly, my kids and Jacob were leaving through that hazy forest, leaving without me, they were slipping away from my fingers.

I felt confused, hurt, offended, pain was blocking my mind.

Everything happened backwards of what I thought it was. I was trying to release from Edward not Jacob! Truly I was wishing that I had kids, that I had them with Jacob. That Rene and Charlie were still there with me, holding the one little boy and girl.

I wished them so badly it hurt; I loved Jacob, more than I could possibly conceive.

I was meant to be his and he was meant to be mine, that life I saw was nothing but the truth, nothing but a real future, one I could reach easily being with Jacob.

My future with Jacob disappeared abruptly, my mind changed of scenario. I was now in the meadow, I turned my head to see what I found, to at least remember.

I found my eternal love sitting on the grass; his figure enlightened the dark meadow, giving the flowers and grass light, light stolen from this beautiful being that was in front of me.

I was afraid of speaking, I would be irrupting the perfection that Edward was. His eyes were closed, his face pointing to the sky. That image seemed so peaceful, so faultless, and so beautiful I was scared of ruining it.

It was heartbreaking to watch, a real strong feeling invaded my chest, I felt I couldn't breathe a real oppression in my heart, one that I enjoyed, not because I'd turned masochist, because that feeling was the first feeling I felt when he touched me, when he called my name with his mellow voice, when he traced my lips with his hand, when he smiled, when I somehow made him laugh, when he first kissed me, when he said he loved me, surprisingly when he took me to the stupid prom, the first time I felt hope, the one time he held me close, when the only motive he had for marrying me was love, when I heard his letdown when Charlie thought I was pregnant, when he thought it was true… all the moments I passed with him, every second I stood at his side. I felt this feeling oppressing my chest, every time I was with him, every word he spoke, every stare he granted me, every time I looked at his eyes, every kiss he gave me, every scold of why I wasn't normal or scared of him, everything was in my memory, so fresh and sweet and good.

This feeling was overpowering, it literally took my breath away, I started to hyperventilate.

I focused my stare where I had left it. As some ridiculous, magic exists, thing happened. The sky opened just enough to wash Edward with sun light.

As if he needed light to shine, to make every inch of him more precious than he was already!

His skin began to flash, the tiny little crystals where making Edward's face look beautiful, no more than usual, but beautiful after all.

That ray of light that trespass the cloud allowed me to see why I really loved Edward, not because of his looks, not because of his wealth not because those insignificant, idiotic things.

Just because of him, his precious being, the kind and good person he was, the generous and patient and caring person. Everything about him, every inch of him I loved.

In that moment I realized half-heartedly and exceptionally in love, that Edward is what I wanted, that the wedding was something that I truly wanted to happen. I suddenly realized that in literal terms Edward was my life, I loved him even more than I could stand, I loved him more than I should, that much I was taking it to the point of insanity. But I couldn't remove those feelings, now it was unattainable. I would love him through the course of eternity, I would love him forever.

Though I loved the future I never had, I loved those two illusory children of mine, despite the fact that I hopelessly wished for them to be mine, even if I truly loved Jacob for making me craved for that children so much, nevertheless I would miss Rene and Charlie to extreme points of pain.

I loved Edward more, so it may sound irrational and selfish, I do, I love him too much I was capable of quitting of what could have been my future, of renouncing Jacob, of with so much pain inflicted refusing to have my two little kids.

The only thing I needed was him, I needed the sad and prefect figure that was in front of me, the one that the sun was covering in rays, the one that truly loved me and I loved, the one I would want forever-Edward.


	7. Chapter 7 Unexpected

**_7. Unexpected_**

Consciousness was beginning to appear in me, I rolled of from what I had been put on and heard a loud crack on the floor, after that I felt my head ache hard, too hard that everything turned black.

I heard a giggle.

I realized that the smack of my head hadn't been the one that provoked the sudden blackness, the room was very dark.

I tried to move my head to see where the laughter came from, but I winced when I moved my head.

"Don't you ever stop hurting yourself Bella?" I didn't need to turn my head to recognize that voice, like a wind bells, how couldn't I recognize that laughter?

"Alice, where am I?" I asked moving my head slower this time.

Alice's face could be seen through all this darkness, she was still smiling, her teeth flashing white in the darkness, so her golden eyes twinkled like stars.

"At home." I looked around and didn't found my room.

"Seriously Alice, where am I?" I tried again. She rolled her eyes and helped me up, I stumbled again but she caught me on time, she led me to the edge of the bed again and sat beside me.

She sighed. "You are at home, well, your second home if you can understand it better."

"Since when your house have beds?" She rolled her eyes.

"This is Edward's room Bella, it was more than expected of him to overreact and put a bed for you instead of you staying into the couch. He is extremely dramatic, you know how much time did it took him to bring this bed from Sleep Emporium? No more than 5 minutes. He didn't even take the Volvo."

I made a face not understanding what she was saying. "That's mad." I whispered.

"Tell me about it."

Why would he do that? I should be kicked out from here, or at least sleeping on the porch.

"So what happened Bella? Where have you been all night? Edward told me you hit your head pretty hard on a rock near the river, he didn't want to explain more, he just went in and out of your room."

Edward hadn't said anything? I hit my head? I had to tell the truth, and then Alice would know the kind of monster I was, one that cheated his extraordinary brother in her dreams.

"Um, well, I really didn't hit my head, what really happened was…" Your beautiful brother rescued me when I didn't deserve it, he should have left me there, agonizing in deserved pain until I died of sorrow.

"I'm a rotten person Alice I cheat…" A voice broke off, coming from aside the couch.

"She slammed her head pretty hard, what happened is that she told me she was going to walk no further than the garden and she cheated me while she went to the river to escape from the party, nothing personal Alice but we know Bella's antisocial skills and innate aversions to any social gathering." Edward smiled at me with tender eyes. His eyes were glimmering more than Alice's eyes were, but I could see the depth in them, he seemed to be figuring me out.

"You know what Alice, I need time alone with my future Mrs. Cullen and you have spent too much time here, please can you check for the last time if things are ready for tomorrow, I'm sure we don't want any inconvenient in the Alice's wedding of the year, we want this to be published in Fork Times don't we?" He mocked a little while Alice glared coldly at him.

"So Bella…" She made emphasis in my name. "I'm sure you want everything to be perfect for tomorrow, you are the only one that recognizes my efforts, and you are the only one that takes them seriously since some think I'm joking with a perfect wedding. I know you are not like that Bella you truly appreciate this and that's why I always wished for a sister just like you, you are hundred times better than any hideous brother which name starts with Ed and ends with ward." She pulled her tongue out to Edward.

"You're wrong; she is infinite times better than that brother of yours." He stared at me again, without smiling.

"So if you please leave us alone?" Edward repeated.

"Yes, whatever, I'm really busy at the moment, you'll see and you'll regret about mocking about your own wedding, you'll see it will be beyond perfect." She went at out the room prancing and dancing delicately, like the small dancer she was.

The last sound I heard was the slam of the door closing.

My mind go blank in the time the two brothers were talking, I was reflecting the words wedding, Mrs. Cullen, wedding, future, Mrs. Cullen over and over again.

I knew this was all a misunderstanding, a lie. Edward wouldn't want me to marry him anymore, his just covering up until tomorrow. Oh! Alice had worked so hard on this.

My heart pounded, stabbing my chest harshly when I saw the true feeling behind these words. I wanted to marry Edward.

But now it was impossible, he wouldn't want me, which is better for him, he'll find someone worth of him, he is too much good, too much precious. My heart ached fiercely.

"What are you thinking?" Edward was the first to break the silence. I didn't dare to look him to the eye.

"I was thinking when will we dismantle this?" I asked in a very low voice, without turning it into a whisper, it was almost like a rhetorical question.

"What exactly?" He looked at me truly confused.

"The wed… the wedding." I whispered, feeling those words like a kick in the stomach.

"And what is there to dismantle Bella?" This time I could not speak in a whisper.

"We are not getting married, you don't want us to get married, after what I'd done to you, it would be impossible for you to take me back, if I were you I wouldn't do it also."

He looked at me seriously, trying to comprehend what I meant but in his face I could see he found no sense on what I was saying.

"I'm glad you aren't me love. Marrying with you is something I still want and will want forever, but if you don't I'll understand, we can call this off, you don't have to feel bound to this, if what your dream in the river was what you wanted you can have it love, beyond doubt, you can have anything that you desire."


End file.
